The problem isn’t your job - you’re the constant. I’m being absolutely serious. Getting another job is not going to solve the problem. Seek counseling. No sarcasm intended.
Leave your work at your job. Neither your employer nor your manager are thinking about you when they leave work and they probably aren’t thinking about you too much while they are at work. If you got hit by a truck tomorrow, they will have an open req for your position before your body gets cold and you will only be briefly remembered if someone does a “git blame” on code you wrote.
I was in a similar position from around 1999-2008 during my second job. I was in a mutually destructive codependent cycle at work where they wouldn’t fire me because I was cheap labor and I wouldn’t quit because 5 years in I let my skills atrophy and I my personal life was in the shitter.
Speaking of which, I was in a shitty marriage (divorced in 06 and remarried in 2012) that also affected my self worth and failing at a side real estate business. My only saving grace then is I took up teaching fitness classes that I was good at.
I said never again. I stayed at that job another 2 years after my divorce, did the bare minimum while I got my head on straight, up skilled and got another job and from then on I treated my job as a throwaway commodity where I worked 40 hours a week, did the best I could and stayed in my lane and have money deposited into my account.
That was my second job. My 8th job was at the most toxic company in the industry - Amazon.
Amazon put me “on focus”. This is where they continuously escalate the requirements to get off focus and then they give you an official PIP. At that point you can either try to overcome the PIP or in my case get $40K severance. But if you fail the PIP, you get 1/3 of the severance. If you try to dispute it and fail you get 1/2 of the 1/3.
I didn’t stress. I knew how the game was played. I did just enough to get my next vest of stocks, I went on vacation even though most people thought it was a bad idea and when the PIP or take severance conversation came, I didn’t even let them finish explaining what I had to do to get off PIP. I asked them where do I sign to get my severance and how much it was.
Then I took another vacation…
My coworkers were stressed about having to go through the process and bewildered why I was so calm.
Funny enough, I got a job quickly after being Amazoned and the same thing happened a year later - another layoff. I did the same, I saw the writing on the wall within three months of starting. I didn’t stress. I didn’t cancel our vacation to Hawaii.
Leave your work at your job. Neither your employer nor your manager are thinking about you when they leave work and they probably aren’t thinking about you too much while they are at work. If you got hit by a truck tomorrow, they will have an open req for your position before your body gets cold and you will only be briefly remembered if someone does a “git blame” on code you wrote.
I was in a similar position from around 1999-2008 during my second job. I was in a mutually destructive codependent cycle at work where they wouldn’t fire me because I was cheap labor and I wouldn’t quit because 5 years in I let my skills atrophy and I my personal life was in the shitter.
Speaking of which, I was in a shitty marriage (divorced in 06 and remarried in 2012) that also affected my self worth and failing at a side real estate business. My only saving grace then is I took up teaching fitness classes that I was good at.
I said never again. I stayed at that job another 2 years after my divorce, did the bare minimum while I got my head on straight, up skilled and got another job and from then on I treated my job as a throwaway commodity where I worked 40 hours a week, did the best I could and stayed in my lane and have money deposited into my account.
That was my second job. My 8th job was at the most toxic company in the industry - Amazon.
Amazon put me “on focus”. This is where they continuously escalate the requirements to get off focus and then they give you an official PIP. At that point you can either try to overcome the PIP or in my case get $40K severance. But if you fail the PIP, you get 1/3 of the severance. If you try to dispute it and fail you get 1/2 of the 1/3.
I didn’t stress. I knew how the game was played. I did just enough to get my next vest of stocks, I went on vacation even though most people thought it was a bad idea and when the PIP or take severance conversation came, I didn’t even let them finish explaining what I had to do to get off PIP. I asked them where do I sign to get my severance and how much it was.
Then I took another vacation…
My coworkers were stressed about having to go through the process and bewildered why I was so calm.
Funny enough, I got a job quickly after being Amazoned and the same thing happened a year later - another layoff. I did the same, I saw the writing on the wall within three months of starting. I didn’t stress. I didn’t cancel our vacation to Hawaii.
My job doesn’t define me.