> Parenting is hard, right or wrong are always in far future’s hindsight.
The idea that we can't possibly know what good parenting is until some time in the future, is an absurd abdication of your responsibility as a parent.
Parenting is hard and nobody expects you to do it perfectly, but that doesn't mean you get to throw up your hands and pretend like good parenting can't be done.
> I felt the need to blame my dad, until I had my own kids.
It sounds like your shift in thought process had more to do with a shift in what thoughts made you feel good about yourself, rather than what thoughts are actually true.
I felt the need to blame my parents, until my life got better and I realized whatever they did had no impact once I decided to take full responsibility
As an extreme example just to make the point undeniable, your parents could have poisoned you, ending your life. Or they could have maimed you and left you unable to walk, or to see. And those are just gross examples.
Parents have a huge impact in an unknowable number of ways. Yours did on you, too.
