> The real difference isn’t in innate ability but ... are usually just unwilling to think critically or engage deeply (basically lazy). It’s less about capability and more about a lack of willingness to put in the mental effort.
My longish life has bore witness of the near opposite. I learned that folks generally operate at the level they can. Folks aren't walking around with deep wells of unused capacity that they can trivially convert into profoundly different outcomes.
Among the evidence: 1. The time and intensity of investment required to make a sea change in my own life and 2. climbing into the head of my toxic spouse (after 25y marriage) and working out what drives her destructive behavior.
Regarding the latter, I came to realize there was no choice she could make today that would yield a different outcome tomorrow. Meaningful change needs years of consistency. However, her internal deck is continually reshuffled; will alone can only do so much.
My longish life has bore witness of the near opposite. I learned that folks generally operate at the level they can. Folks aren't walking around with deep wells of unused capacity that they can trivially convert into profoundly different outcomes.
Among the evidence: 1. The time and intensity of investment required to make a sea change in my own life and 2. climbing into the head of my toxic spouse (after 25y marriage) and working out what drives her destructive behavior.
Regarding the latter, I came to realize there was no choice she could make today that would yield a different outcome tomorrow. Meaningful change needs years of consistency. However, her internal deck is continually reshuffled; will alone can only do so much.