I know it is a fantasy but the real "Satoshi" responding to this post would do unfathomable things to Bitcoin right now. I just enjoyed the thought of it for a second.
Unfortunately they sealed the tomb with a cryptographically-secure boulder this time and they've been waiting patiently in the dark for someone to decipher the pattern in the public keys so they can be released.
(Obligatory disclaimer: this is a joke, do not go making a religion out of this.)
How do you reconcile this with the fact that Satoshi sent both an email and a bitcoin transaction while Hal was busy running a 10 mile race? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37974155
There's no way it was Szabo, although Szabo likes people to think it was him. Szabo's ideas for p2p currency were directly opposed to the structure of bitcoin, and he continued professing these views and critiques of bitcoin long after bitcoin was launched and achieved some measure of success.