I have found this to be a good, if somewhat unreliable way to find therapists. But it definitely is a real resource that shouldn't be sandbagged with downvotes.
Just to add to the other comments: this is how I found my therapist after other sources failed. Everyone was too busy for a new patient, but I reached out to several from here and one of them said he had an opening for 40 minutes bi-weekly, starting at the end of the month. It was better than nothing (I’m serious, it was a huge boon!) so I took it.
I immediately told him I wanted more time, and within a couple of weeks, he had other openings in his calendar and we established a cadence that works much better for me.
All this to say that, psychology today is a legit resource that works, and just getting your foot in the door with any therapist is the most important thing you can do to get treatment. It’s not easy, but it can be done, and for me it has been worth it.
It depends. If you're in a serious rut I seriously think a therapist could make it worse. You need the right fit who your brain is not going to dismiss the moment they open their mouth.
What you're illustrating there is a self-perpetuating problem: the therapist I pick might not good, so I shouldn't talk to a therapist.
Starting to talk to someone is key; that gets the process rolling. Asking for help is the start, and after doing that if one doesn't get a satisfying answer, they can ask someone else. But if they never take that first step and try to ask, they've gone nowhere.
I found my therapist exactly like this and I have been with him for a few years. I was judicious with narrowing the search results and then further combed through each one meticulously. My wife tried 3 or 4 until she found one that clicked. I consider this list to be vastly superior to a better help etc. which I have never had luck with.
Try a few. Go see one, make it clear you’re looking around. If it isn’t working, say so and move on. They’re professionals, they get it.
You do have to be prepared to be vulnerable to some extent, but if they’re any good they’ll earn trust and develop a working relationship with you that is comfortable.
Source: multiple years of therapy. Definitely worth the effort and the cost.
Absolutely, and I'll add that if you don't like the therapist, keep looking. The quality of the relationship between you and the therapist has A LOT (the most?) to do with what you'll ultimately get out of it.
I remember it being really hard to know what I wanted from therapy the first time I did it which made choosing a therapist feel pretty overwhelming. Had to drop the first therapist I saw after a couple sessions because it wasn't for me (and a good therapist will tell you "you might want to seek out another therapist").
If you really want to, you can read about the different therapy methodologies that therapists commonly use, but as a first-timer I found that to be pretty overwhelming and just reading the therapists' descriptions of the kind of work they do and clients they typically work with ultimately more helpful in choosing someone I could work well with.
The most important thing that OP has to learn is that he is not alone, there are professionals out there that can help you. But you have to make the first step.
In Germany, if you have public insurance and your GP prescribe therapy to you, but all public therapists are fully booked, you can take sessions with a private therapist and the public insurance is obligated to cover you.
This is true, that's how I'm getting therapy right now. I was scared this was too much paperwork for me at first, but my therapist explained that I basically needed to only do three things:
(1) go to a GP (Hausarzt) and explain my situation so they fill up a report and confirm that the issue is indeed psychological and not physical,
(2) go to a therapist that works with public insurance so they can write another report, your therapist might refer you to one of his/her colleagues, and
(3) email five therapists that work with public insurance and ask them how long their waiting list is. They likely will all tell you it's longer than 3 months, which is what you need to hear.
You basically send this stuff to your insurance company and they deal with the rest.
> How can I find someone I trust and is actually good?
It's like dating. I think within the first 4-5 visits you'll know if someone is trustworthy and is giving you some insight. Note, they won't be able to give you the really great insights until you feel you can trust them, but they should be able to give you a couple of things to ponder / act upon even in the initial stages.
If you have a doctor, I would start there by asking that person if there is someone they would recommend. It may take a few attempts to find someone you're comfortable with. The first session or 2 will be around both of you figuring out if it's a good fit. It may not be. Most therapists have a bio describing their approach to their practice and their beliefs.
Remember, if you meet a therapist and you aren't feeling it isn't a good fit, that's ok. There is nothing wrong with you (or them), it's just not a good fit. Be honest in your feelings, and don't worry about disappointing anyone in the process. This is about you and what's best for you.
If you go by your GP's recommendation, do not think that if you don't get along with them, that you won't get along with other therapists, or that there's something wrong with you. My GP suggested someone in the same building, and they... were not great, for me. The therapist I found on my own (through looking at reviews and whatnot) was much better.
The professional is there not to be a regular person to know, but someone to who you can emote and feel openly your hardest things you hold inside. This expression of those things makes them less haunting and distracting inside yourself. This technique does not necessarily fix your material problems, but it allows you to clear the way within you to take them on.
It is not for everyone, and it is worth a try when you are feeling hopeless.
There are lots of good online therapy things now. Although I’d recommend doing in person if you can because the latency of emotional exchange is much higher in the space of the world. Even still the online work can be hugely beneficial.
Even if your worldview has left you bereft, your body deserves a chance to reformulate your mind for this opportunity at existence.
I have found online services to be OK when I was struggling with a difficult time. Mindbloom, Betterhelp, and Cerebral were fine for what they were. They got me through the first steps for a slight cost. After that, momentum builds. There's no silver bullet.
FWIW, my experiences with betterhelp were absolutely terrible. I had a therapist ghost me, and another one that would respond with answers so generic I would’ve been better off talking to a chatbot (I sort of suspect that’s what I was doing).
I am not surprised. I had to switch therapists a few times. Ultimately I started to remember my self care strategies and stopped seeing a therapist. Though the medicine is a big help.
I still believe that any therapist is better than none, because it forces you to do something, which will change the narrative from "it's hopeless" to " I'm working on it just haven't found the right match". That shift alone is worth the cost.
Find one specializing in CBT, or similar forms of therapy shown to be effective (3rd-wave CBT such as MCT). You can also just pick up a CBT workbook and do the exercises yourself. The only advantage a therapist has over this is "talking it out" - you should be capable of recognizing and correcting distorted negative thinking with a therapist guide / workbook. This is why online therapy has been growing in popularity, they just regurgitate the principles.
You can do this free of charge just by visiting the library, or finding pdfs online.
I know what CBT is (well, I mean, I've heard term) but what is MCT? Also, I would say that a (good) therapist is quite like a (good) coach/personal trainer - someone who keeps you accountable and committed to a course of treatment/training. Many people could probably do these things by themselves, but many others struggle to keep it up for one reason or other. As an analogue I had a couple of very bad PTs and then went to the gym with an experienced friend and felt very motivated as he encouraged me and helped me through rough spots. Made the most progress doing so. This is not to say going it alone is bad - you need to be able to sometimes.
Metacognitive Therapy. Effectively, when dealing with persistent unwanted thoughts, it teaches you to let them pass without judgement / evoking response, and to divert your attention elsewhere. I find that this complements CBT well if one has already done the work of recognizing that some thoughts are unrealistic distortions. Proponents of MCT seem to bash CBT needlessly; they needn't be mutually exclusive, and at any rate, evidence suggests that CBT is generally effective (and there's a much larger body of it than for MCT).
> someone who keeps you accountable and committed to a course of treatment/training. Many people could probably do these things by themselves, but many others struggle to keep it up for one reason or other.
It depends on preference and self-efficacy, notwithstanding that intrinsic motivation is necessary whichever way. However, most people don't seem to realize that self-administration is an option, and walk away from the prospect of therapy entirely if they deem it too costly.
The other problem is, as with personal trainers, whether you'll have a good one is a roll of the dice. Trainers have a perverse incentive to divert people to use machines and away from compound movement exercises like deadlifts. Similarly, many therapists don't offer much insight or homework. And all the while you can leverage the most powerful approaches by yourself at zero cost.
Seeing a pro is still a decent heuristic, most people will want to avoid the labor of doing research which can be daunting, tiresome, and is a skill in itself. Pressing the "just tell me what to do, here's money" button is arguably more optimal depending on the circumstances.
>Metacognitive Therapy. Effectively, when dealing with persistent unwanted thoughts, it teaches you to let them pass without judgement / evoking response, and to divert your attention elsewhere. I find that this complements CBT well if one has already done the work of recognizing that some thoughts are unrealistic distortions. Proponents of MCT seem to bash CBT needlessly; they needn't be mutually exclusive, and at any rate, evidence suggests that CBT is generally effective (and there's a much larger body of it than for MCT).
Thanks for the explainer; I feel like I've heard of this modality before but not by name.
>The other problem is, as with personal trainers, whether you'll have a good one is a roll of the dice.
True, though at least there are some measure of professional standards in therapy that act as a heuristic - I don't know the situation in the States, but the 'standard' PT certification in Canada, the CanFitPro, has no educational requirement and can be achieved over a weekend in which you watch some videos, do a workshop, and write an hourlong exam. But yeah, as you said, intrinsic motivation is necessary.
> I’m a bit weary to discuss super personal things with someone I don’t know even if they’re a professional.
You don't have to unpack everything in the first session. Generally you want someone who is trying to build a one-on-one relationship with you where you feel comfortable doing this.
> Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue.
I mean, all appointments end at a certain time and then you get up and leave.
> Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would be nice.
You could try meditation. I do both therapy and meditation.
If you live in a metro area, look for hospitals that run CBT/DBT/group therapy sessions. That's another way to get started. If you have insurance, that helps.
If you don't have insurance, consider looking at your background and find a 12-step program that fits. ACA (adult children of alcoholics, but it also considers family dysfunction) is one example. It doesn't benefit from having a trained therapist, but it's effectively free group therapy.
> How can I find someone I trust and is actually good? Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue.
In reality, you don't really know the kind of people you'd trust to talk to in the first place, you don't really have an informed opinion. Just jump in feet-first, don't think about. You just need someone to talk to ASAP and any decent therapist is your first step. Just try it, there's nothing to lose whatsoever.
Except hundreds or even thousands of dollars you may or may not have to pay the counselors until you find the right one. I don't mean to be discouraging anyone from getting help, but keep in mind the counselors are not fungible, and, at least in my experience, many of them are useless or just plain weird. (This is not to stereotype, just stating the reality.) I wish there was a way to prefilter them out, but it is such a subjective field and the treatment options are highly individualistic.
I would suggest any kind of community involvement with people you have an affinity for. In person, preferably. That brings on a set of new problems, but at least it will help get you out of yourself and away from too much navel-gazing.
My SO is a therapist.
Something to keep in mind:
Many quality therapists have stopped taking insurance due to the influx of folks seeking care coupled w/ insurance tightening what they pay out.
I'm certain there are plenty of good therapists who will take their time with you at the discount implied by insurance, but you're more likely to get that experience if you're paying full rate.
Or sometimes they don't submit on your behalf, so you have to do the paperwork to submit to your insurance for whatever amount your insurance reimburses, depending on your plan.
There is no harm in trying out therapists. Don't be afraid to fire them and find a new one. They shouldn't take it personally. Much of it is about fit and you need to find the right person for you.
The worst therapist I ever had referred me to the best therapist I ever had. If a therapist gives a shit about you, they'll help you find a better fit.
>Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would be nice. But I don’t have sudo.
You absolutely can do this if you go on a meditation retreat. I went to https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/courses/search though I am sure you can find other schools of meditation.
My experience was that you are not allowed to talk for the duration of the course and just focus on breathing & meditation (10 days in my case). It brought a great deal of calm and focus into my life.
I've had several. The best one I had was a life coach without all the standard creds. The next-best one was in a hospital (outpatient) group therapy program that taught CBT.
Keep an open mind, but... it takes looking. I've had therapists with all the right degrees who were... meh. Well-meaning, but just not that good at it.
Unfortunately, this isn't a zero-effort path. You have to look, and fire therapists who aren't doing what you need.
I used TherapyDen to find the only therapist I saw (so I'm no expert). But lots of therapists there have videos so you get a sense of who they are and what they focus on. I did enjoy the therapist I ended up seeing for a year.
First of all don't suspend your background processes with sudo, that is only going to prevent the money from coming in everyday... then you've got Google maps you can type in social worker near me or psychiatrist near me or behavioral health near me and it will point you in the right direction.....
i found my therapist via a therapy app, which we both left long ago. Apps like BetterHelp and TalkSpace can be very hit and miss, but they're a place to start, and can serve as good matchmaking services.
Be prepared to pay out of pocket, my insurance pays about half of what my sessions cost. You get what you pay for. You don't want a therapist who is stretched too thin, overworked, or financially struggling themselves.
Also, ask friends and family, you may know more people in therapy than you realize, and talking about MH with people you know is incredibly helpful.
If you have a good PCP, ask them for a referral both to a therapist, and consider an IOP - an Intensive Outpatient Program. When you're trying to get out of crisis, it can be helpful to have more than just a weekly or biweekly session. I am in such a program now, it includes group therapy every day (I can choose which groups) and more intensive individual therapy and case management.
The particular program I am in also does ketamine therapy, which can help to rewire your neuropathways so that behavioral changes are more permanent. There are some online programs - Better U and Mindbloom come up in a quick search - which will offer this and other IOP-like services remotely, though I'm not sure how they compare to traditional IOP.
Above all, seeking help in any way that you can will make you feel better and I am personally proud of you for coming and asking a bunch of strangers for help. It shows a readiness to take on your challenges.
How can I find someone I trust and is actually good? Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue.
My work offers a mental health service but I’ve looked at their TOS and no thanks.
Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would be nice. But I don’t have sudo.