The HN crowd is not known for kindness, but you can use sincere and reason-based advice, something for which the HN crowd is excellent at.
I remarried in my early 40's, after leaving a mutually abusive relationship. And we got a lovely daughter (with two amazing older half-brothers from my previous marriage), moved to Ireland and fell in love for the country. You are not past your prime - while I miss my 20's brain plasticity, there's a ton of new content in my brain that would have been extremely useful in my 20's. As for love, it's a lottery. You may find it, you may not.
The MEng degree is a very versatile tool. I'm a BEng and the problem-solving mindset has been the foundation of my career, as a software engineer, then as a 3D VFX animator, then as an SW engineer, manager, and now architect.
As for the depression, reach out for professional help. Find a therapist you are comfortable with (it may take more than one try), and work from there. I treat mine as a debugger that helps me understand how my mind works, and where my blind spots (I've got plenty of them) are.
I'm not American, but I've considered offers to move from Brazil and Ireland at different times, and the math didn't make sense. While compensation packages are better in number, depending on where you live costs will eat into that and, since you mentioned mental health problems, I'm afraid you'd need to get social services that do not exist in the US. Your nickname suggests you are German and Germany has world renowned public healthcare system - use it until you are better. I understand you were happy in the US, and I fell in love with Northern CA during the 90's, but the country has changed, in many ways for the worse. Don't forget nostalgia is a set of rose-tinted glasses.
You may also be able to move in the EU, for warmer climates and lower cost of life. Many friends of mine are quite happy in Portugal and Spain and we are considering retiring there in a couple decades. Ireland is still hiring IT folk like crazy, but Dublin is expensive to live and your reserves are not enough for too long (you should always have enough reserves for a couple months of unemployment, more if you are at risk of getting depressed).
Good luck and feel free to vent as much as you need. I hope I was useful.
The HN crowd is not known for kindness, but you can use sincere and reason-based advice, something for which the HN crowd is excellent at.
I remarried in my early 40's, after leaving a mutually abusive relationship. And we got a lovely daughter (with two amazing older half-brothers from my previous marriage), moved to Ireland and fell in love for the country. You are not past your prime - while I miss my 20's brain plasticity, there's a ton of new content in my brain that would have been extremely useful in my 20's. As for love, it's a lottery. You may find it, you may not.
The MEng degree is a very versatile tool. I'm a BEng and the problem-solving mindset has been the foundation of my career, as a software engineer, then as a 3D VFX animator, then as an SW engineer, manager, and now architect.
As for the depression, reach out for professional help. Find a therapist you are comfortable with (it may take more than one try), and work from there. I treat mine as a debugger that helps me understand how my mind works, and where my blind spots (I've got plenty of them) are.
I'm not American, but I've considered offers to move from Brazil and Ireland at different times, and the math didn't make sense. While compensation packages are better in number, depending on where you live costs will eat into that and, since you mentioned mental health problems, I'm afraid you'd need to get social services that do not exist in the US. Your nickname suggests you are German and Germany has world renowned public healthcare system - use it until you are better. I understand you were happy in the US, and I fell in love with Northern CA during the 90's, but the country has changed, in many ways for the worse. Don't forget nostalgia is a set of rose-tinted glasses.
You may also be able to move in the EU, for warmer climates and lower cost of life. Many friends of mine are quite happy in Portugal and Spain and we are considering retiring there in a couple decades. Ireland is still hiring IT folk like crazy, but Dublin is expensive to live and your reserves are not enough for too long (you should always have enough reserves for a couple months of unemployment, more if you are at risk of getting depressed).
Good luck and feel free to vent as much as you need. I hope I was useful.