I've read that the decline of religion also plays a role here. Aside from the religious aspect, the sense of community and regularity you get meeting the same people on a regular basis is lost.
It's kind of the mix of a loss of "third place" (institutions, coffee shops, etc.) and the increase of social media bubbles that pushes us to be more polarized, I think.
The only place I've gotten the regularity feeling of a third place was a really specific gym I used to both work and train at. Everyone knew who I was even if I didn't train with them, because I also worked there, so when I trained there it was my third place as well and I was always having great conversations.
I haven't had anything like it since, and I've been relatively proactive too. I have hobbies, go to meets, and go to the same coffee shops and restaurants so often that they know my order, but there is always this barrier between everyone, like no-one needs eachother because they have their phones. I ride the same bike park twice a week and go to the gym every couple of days, but I moved on to a 24/7 gym and everyone is buried in their phones, and I don't see the same people twice at the bike park. Me and the cleaner always have a great yarn though, I appreciate that.
On of the best "third place" locations I've had was a gym as well. This was about 15 years ago, before iPhones and Airpods, etc. existed, or were as prevalent, so it was easy and common for gym regulars to strike up conversations and get to know each other.
I don't go to the gym anymore, but a few years ago when I resumed for a bit, everyone was on their phone, or dead-eyed while listening to music or a podcast, etc, and not interested in talking to anyone.
I always say to people that CrossFit is my church, and while I say it with mild sarcasm, internally it is true. Everyday I turn up, see the same people, build a community to the extent we do socials, help each other out with all manner of things, and honestly it gives me fulfilment more so than anything else I do.
I know next to nothing about crossfit and it definitely looks like religion to me. I'm not even sure where this impression comes from but it's probably first or second thing that comes into my mind when I hear "crossfit" (the other thing is that someone I vaguely know does it to keep in shape -- but we never discussed it in any detail).
There is a level of passion and commitment to crossfit that other disciplines don't always have, and due to the way it's practiced it's really beneficial to have your own space for it so crosfit tends to happen at crossfit only gyms, at scheduled times amongst regular practitioners.
To keep riffing on the religious theme, there was a fair bit of controversy around crossfit when it first arrived on the scene, to the point where even other fairly similar gym disciplines were pushing it out of their gyms. That kind of criticism tends to drive you back into your group (the same way door-knocking drives evangelists back to the warm embrace of the parish), and I almost never see crossfit happening in regular gyms, just crossfit gyms. As above that's partly practicality, but I think it's also fair to say it wasn't received well at first and that likely drove people to those specialized gyms instead of practicing it at their local.
I do powerlifting/strength training and powerlifters had the same issue in mainstream gyms, and there are powerlifting specific gyms around. But that's gotten better over time with mainstream gyms having powerlifing/olympic lifting gear more often than not now.
Keep in mind I'm in the UK, so I think it functions very differently than in the states. Religion is already a prominent part of the culture there, whereas here I don't know a single person my age that has gone to church since they were a small child. We don't have the level of radical level of belief of commitment about much here. As such, the atmosphere is more of a pub, minus the drinking, but it fulfills my "3rd space" need outside of work and home. I've heard from people within the community that CF in the US was scarcely cultish in comparison, so take my previous comment through that lense.
Maybe that's why places like SoulCycle, Barry's Bootcamp, or yoga studios have also sprung up. People do want connection, just not in the way it was before.
A good church can be like group therapy. You see the same people. You have common issues. The core challenges are discussed. There is a guide book that everyone agrees is the best. There is a group counselor that helps everyone work through the book to heal together.
I'd probably be more into church if it was just a social club and didn't come with that expectation that you'd be worshiping an invisible sky daddy, adopting questionable morality/philosophies, and attending what's basically a Republican political rally every Sunday. My wife goes to hers and it's nice, socially for her, that it comes prepackaged with a ready-made group of friends, but as soon as the Bibles and Trump flags come out, I bounce.
It’s sad to hear someone’s view of church be similar to that of a political rally because that’s far from the truth of all the churches I’ve been to. Of course, we do read the Bible and worship God, but this social club that comes with “prepackaged” friends that you refer to can’t exist unless the people going agree on some ideas of morality and philosophies of why we’re here on Earth.
Agreed. There was an interesting post here recently that had this theory why churches work:
"Eventually, you pick a relatively relaxed “normal” religion, complete with all the “God” stuff. You don’t believe everything they say is literally true, but our reality is strange and inexplicable, so who knows? There’s a great stable community and you talk about the broader themes of life and you’re healthier and happier.
You secretly guess that the group is sustained by a minority of true believers who make up critical mass for a larger group of people like you, but you never talk about this and neither does anyone else. When you have kids, you feel weird about explaining your thoughts about all this to them, but you don’t parrot back what the religion says when you’re talking about the meaning of life either."
I'm fortunate to attend a church that is socially progressive, theologically rigorous, and relishes honest questioning and debate. I don't think I would have maintained my faith without this environment.
Heck I would join a church for the community if the faith part and Trumpettes weren't involved. Unfortunately all of the churches around here have more red hats than not.
If your part of a community that meets your social needs your world view changes and you become conservative. The exception is the groups that aren't directly opposed to conservatism but they typically lack the true community adhesion.
This isn't a democrat or republican thing though, you can totally join a Democratic church, with a strong community, but they are largely minority churches.
It's kind of the mix of a loss of "third place" (institutions, coffee shops, etc.) and the increase of social media bubbles that pushes us to be more polarized, I think.