"We are given 70 years, and a bit more if we are strong" - some greek philosopher, if memory serves me right. The first half of those 70 years is ascending, and the second half is descending. The root of your anxiety is the fear that you'll disappear into non-existence at the end. Many say that mushrooms dissolve this fear, even in absence of proofs, but I wouldn't rush to mushrooms until your mindset is fixed. Knowledge backed by direct experience would be better, but you're a some 30 years too late for that.