There's a difference between trying to make the community inclusive, and trying to make the core development group inclusive. Asking people not to say "guys" in community fora is an attempt to make more people comfortable using those fora in the first place. It has nothing to do with actually developing the language itself, just with using the language.

That's like saying it's ironic that a taxi driver will let you sit in the back but won't let you drive the taxi.